Every now and then I stumble upon a depressing song that grips me in some way, drawing me to like it enough to acquire it. The tune sort of becomes a reminder of what not to do with my life, something to avoid.
One such song is “Stone” by Adam Again.
The song was written by Gene Eugene, the singer/guitarist for the group, who divorced his wife previous to the recording and release of the album this track opens, Perfecta. The song achingly finds the singer wrestling back and forth about missing his ex-wife. Sleep features heavily in the lyrics as he wants to fix things but he needs rest for an early morning. As the song grinds to an end, he wants to move on, but he wants her to come home.
This heart-breaking honesty haunts me as I consider the lyrics. Here was a man whose marriage fell to pieces, and while I don’t know all the details of it, from this song it seems that a contributing factor was his unwillingness to stay up late when necessary.
Whether or not this was actually the case is a mystery to me, but I can easily identify with the scenario. It’s a common stereotype I’m finding with other husbands that wives have a propensity to launch into a deep conversation at the last possible minute of the day. Something offended her and just as her husband winds down for the night, she wants to work the issue out. Maybe it’s a woman’s form of revenge, maybe they don’t realize they’re doing it, or maybe they feel like it’s the only time to talk. Regardless, it’s easy for men to groan, give a snippy response, and then throw the covers over their heads.
In my own marriage there have been plenty of inconvenient late-night conversations. Sleep is precious to me, I’m finding, and to lose an hour or two of it because my wife has an emotional breakdown at 10 P.M. can be irksome. It’s hard to respond with a Christ-like patience and love at that moment. But sometimes the conversation needs to be had so late. The wife needs to know her husband cares and is willing to sacrifice some of his own comfort for her sake.
Now, I will say wives shouldn’t take advantage of this. They need to be cognizant of the time and determine if the conversation must come now or if it can wait until tomorrow. Yes, husbands need to love their wives and sacrifice for them, but wives should respect their husbands, like when they have an early morning ahead of them. If a fire is flaring up and needs to be extinguished, by all means handle it immediately. But if it can wait, it’s probably best that it should.
So whenever my wife begins venting at a late hour or at any point in time she interrupts what I’m doing (ironically, it happened twice as I typed this out), I remember this song and strive to listen well and not flippantly throw off her problem. It’s hard for men to do. It’s easier for guys to shut themselves up and handle certain issues later. But I’d rather lose sleep than say “too late.”