Yes, it’s time again for me to write to all 2 of you to let you know how my year went…because you really wanted to know. But first, an overall review/conclusion of 2010…disappointing. I figured this would be a special year, but not for the reasons that it became. I had great, vague expectations for this year and most of them fell through or didn’t even materialize. Looking at my reflections post from last year (click here), I’m comparing my expectations with reality:
That songwriting competition failed miserably at the end. Though I did get my song onto the resulting “album” (which was sadly only available for less than 30 days..i know,right?). I did submit a novel to a publisher but I have yet to hear back from them. Musically, nothing happened. As to the girlfriend thing…i shan’t comment. But now, how about the year in a quick review?
The opening months through March were difficult largely because of the online classes I took. I had never quite been through a period of isolation like that and hope that I never go through something like that again. Then came April and now my life coincides with the Simon & Garfunkel song “April Come She Will.” Here’s the lyrics and then I’ll sum up the connection: (listen to it here)
April come she will
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain;
May, she will stay,
Resting in my arms again.
June, she’ll change her tune,
In restless walks she’ll prowl the night;
July, she will fly
And give no warning to her flight.
August, die she must,
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold;
September I’ll remember
A love once new has now grown old.
April was filled with hope as the semester closed out,and was ironically a wet month. May seemed to linger for a while. June did indeed “change her tune” as family issues arose and the year took a sudden downward turn. July flew by with some interesting developments (both good and bad) and didn’t bother to stay long.
August was, strangely, my best month this year. For a few weeks I was happy, being back in Louisville with friends and my church, and for other reasons. It was a shame that she had to “die” (though it was not a month with “autumn winds blowing chilly and cold”). The cold came in September when everything collapsed and my euphoric moment of happiness faded like the morning fog. Reality back home jumped in and reminded me that there were issues that I just couldn’t ignore along with things in Louisville taking a “curveball” turn. Indeed, September of 2’10, I will remember, “a love once new has now grown old.”
From October-November I struggled between finishing school and being a support at home. My happy return to Boyce was dashed and with it any hopes of a happy 2’10. December was a cold month weather-wise, but also in terms of life as well. From family life at home to struggling to find a new job. Now my unhappy year comes to a thankful end and will bow out on a very unhappy note: my return to Wendy’s.
[I wanna pause to be clear that when I say “reality from back home” ruined my “happiness” at Boyce, i’m not saying that helping my family (or even my family itself) was what dashed it. It was moreso the circumstances with my Dad under which I had to work.]
But in spite of all this, in spite of a spoiled year, I can’t deny that my relationship with God has grown in a way I didn’t expect. Through all this turmoil God has been my Constant. I can’t deny how faithful He has been to me. And with His faithfulness and love to support me, I can crawl into 2’11 and expect that no matter what happens, it’s all in God’s hands.
Maybe I’ll finally get a book published…maybe I’ll finally find my niche musically…maybe I’ll find true love..maybe I’ll finally start my life…there are a host of maybe’s, but only one Constant. And in Him is my only hope…
Happy New Year.