“When I was young, I knew everything…”-Verve Pipe, “The Freshman Song”
It seems like the older I get the more humbling certain circumstances become. Why,only a month or so ago (and I’m not sure why I’m sharing this exactly) I had the audacity to stand shirtless in front of a mirror and think of how good-looking I appeared..nevermind the accentuated rib cages and spindly arms. About a week ago reality set in. I’m really not that hot. Most guys around the dorms prey about the halls half naked at night (hence why we have curfew here at Boyce). They do this because they’re either fit enough to strut around and show off their physique or they’re fat enough to not care what anyone thinks (that’s harsh,yes,but they’d probably agree). I’m at neither of these extremes. Thankfully you can rest assured that the only time I ever dare run about shirtless is when at night I venture to the shower, which happens to be located right across the hall from my room.
Why am I sharing this? I’m getting there.
Anyways,it seems like the more I’m educated and the more experience I experience, I begin to realize how dumb I am. Okay,I may be smarter than a thornbush (at least) but I’m not as wise and “know-it-all” as I used to think. When I first started growing in my Christianity I was a “sword drill” wonder. I knew all about facts on and in the Bible and was eager to dispense my knowledge to fellow classmates. I was young then,in more ways than one. Now that I’m older, life, education, and a lot of the Holy Spirit have humbled me. Not to imply that I’m at the point where monks would envy me, but just to simply say that I’m not the wise-guy I thought I was.
If I ever need a reminder of this, i can stand half-naked in front of the boys’ bathroom mirror, stare at my white self, and turn away in disgust (just like you did mentally). I’m like Frankenstein’s monster, if you will. Born into sin with hideous defects in the spiritual, emotional, physical, etc. realms. Pride gives me the mirage of lofty dwellings when I only awake to a desert. Sadness can drag me through a slimy rut for days. And while these things I can try to hide behind white pickett fences, my physical deformities belie any sense of perfection. My teeth are a hideous wonder, my eyes are weak, I hardly have a pleasant voice, I’m bent, broken, a “blasted tree; the bolt has entered my soul; and I felt…that I should survive to exhibit, what I shall soon cease to be–a miserable spectacle of wrecked humanity, pitiable to others, and intolerable to myself.” (from Frankenstein)
But do not think that I spend my days sitting in a cave musing upon these irksome facts (though my roommate has succeeded in converting this room into something close to a cavern). I have a happy ending, don’t worry. It’s easy now to tidily wrap this up by saying that despite imperfections, God still loves me. Well, He does. But I don’t see that as the proper response…or, the specific response to this thought. Since the summer I’ve been trying to “watch” for the Lord’s coming. That great expectation of His sudden return should excite me. I should be willing to drop all earthly pleasures and pursuits at the drop of a dime to be joined with Him,and yet I hardly live that way..
Well,leave it to God to provide a way: my battered being and shell of humanity longing for a day when with a more glorious and perfect body I arise and feel these pangs no more…
“There are also celestial bodies and terrestrial bodies; but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another. There is one glory of the sun, another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for one star differs from another star in glory.
“So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. And so it is written, ‘The first man Adam became a living being.’ The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
“However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural, and afterward the spiritual. The first man was of the earth, made of dust; the second Man is the Lord from heaven. As was the man of dust, so also are those who are made of dust; and as is the heavenly Man, so also are those who are heavenly. And as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Man.”-1 Corinthians 15:40-49