The Fall I’ve Always Wanted

I remember a time when I was still in elementary school..it was fresh into fall when I stepped outside. I had probably finished watching Beetle Borgs before coming out to play. I used to love the autumn time because of Halloween. Yes, I was a Halloweener. I liked dressing up and seeing all the “monsters” but I also enjoyed the candy. But this is beside the point…the real point is that for some reason I remember this particular day for a thought that crossed my mind. I remember thinking something along the lines, “I can’t wait till I can enjoy a fall without going to school.” I know, freakishly forsightish, right?

Anyways, all those years spun along and every fall I was trapped in the confines of a school building to learn about stuff. All I wanted was to be able to escape it and enjoy an autumn without the hassle of going “back to school.” Well, with graduation this past May, I can finally have all that. Of course, now I’m not much of a Halloweener…and I also find that part of the nostalgic feeling I have in conjunction with the season is returning to the classroom…

So the point of this post is not to be all depressed. I’m just noting another irony in my life and figured at least 2 of you should know about it. I hate how irony fills all my life. I want what I can’t have yet and when I finally get it, I find it’s not as fulfilling as I had hoped because I had over-expected it. In a sense, this post is related to the last post, just in a different field. I find it amazing what random things, even things I consider “evil”, add purpose to parts of life that I enjoy. I suppose the spiritual lesson is that God allows good and “bad” to mingle in our lives to add to our enjoyment. We don’t realize what “bad” things add to our love of life until it’s removed.

At any rate, here’s to the fall I’ve always wanted! And here’s to creating a new nostalgia!

The Dark Knight Hides

Lately, all the rumor roar is about the upcoming Dark Knight Rises movie that’s set to come out…next year. Photos of sets, actors, and scenes are leaking onto to the internet little by little and everyone is speculating about the plot. Admittedly, as something of a Batman junkie (he was my favorite hero growing up) I’m eating this all up. But then I realized: this is stupid.

It’s not the movie that’s stupid. On the contrary, I’m pretty excited about the movie. But all this rumor mill stuff is dumb. Why? Because if i intake it all, I’ll probably be disappointed about the movie. I know this from experience. Last year, as Toy Story 3 came nigh to release, I ate up all the trailers, behind-the-scenes featurettes, reviews, previews, and press releases. Thus when I saw the movie in theaters…i already knew most of the movie, including the ending. I felt very foolish and most of my friends thought so too.

So I actually want to enjoy the Dark Knight Rises and so I will quit scouring rumor sites and youtube videos (I don’t need to be wasting my time on ‘em anyway). Yes, I hate surprises and I hate waiting. But I’d rather take in a good movie unspoiled, than take in a movie that I already know everything about.

(for those wondering if there was anything serious about this post…there was not. File this under “NERD”)

World in a Whirl

“What was it I was dreaming for?
To beat the beast and win the girl?
Here I am caught in my war,
Falling down with my world in a whirl.”

Sometimes I look up from what I’m doing, gaze around and wonder if what I’m fighting for is worth it. To question motives and directions in life often sends my “world in a whirl.” As I wrestle with who I am in Christ and so what is expected of me and then examine how i’m doing, i have to blush. I’m not perfect most of the time..in fact, i’m usually missing the mark.

“Should all the fancies be mine to hold,
To spin around and twist and twirl,
Would I have ev’n a pound of gold,
Crashing down with my world in a whirl?”

Maybe if I had all I needed…every advantage per se, then, then, I would be able to right my ship. Then I would be who I want/need to be. The world would no longer spin out of control. Yet the Bible says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

“Snap out of it! Why be in chains?
Why plod in what makes my heart curl?
Forget all these hopeless pains.
Have joy with my world in a whirl.”

So I conclude I rest in alibis. I’ve built a house of cards out of them. If only I had this or that, him or her, was here or there…Yet everything I need in order to be the man God called me to be is already in my hand. What more do I need than Christ? What else is there? What difference does it make if I can see clearly or dimly? Why can’t I walk by faith and not by sight?

Are you confused? it’s okay. I guess the point is that it is easy to lose focus…to doubt your standing…to cave under guilt and pressure. But ultimately, all we need is already given. We must press on, carry on, till the work is all done…

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”- Galatians 6:9

Closed Borders

Like many, I was sad to hear that the national book-store chain Borders was going out of business due to bankruptcy. Not that I visit Borders often…I used to. In fact, every book I bought used to come from Borders. One Christmas, i did all my shopping at the local Borders (’cause I’m that creative). But then I entered college and saw the need to penny-pinch and so places like Amazon and Half-Priced Books became closer friends. What i hate about the Borders closing, though, is that it’s a sign of what’s to come. Namely, everything is going digital–including books. I hate this because I’m old-fashioned. For what it’s worth, I’ll now quickly give my review of what may be the last time I ever visited Borders.

When I first entered I was taken aback a little by the amount of dignity the store had lost. It was no longer a casual atmosphere of people moving around politely to find books…it was more like a thrift store or Walmart…or Gap Outlet where it’s push and shove and dodge. It was like the news of Borders’ downfall brought out all the leeches who wanted to suck the store dry. Perhaps the biggest loss of dignity I found was that the public restrooms were closed. I was sad because those bathrooms saved my life once or twice. But I digress…

What drew me in initially was the email they sent out saying that stuff was up to 40% off (emphasis mine, not theirs). So I went in and found mostly everything 10-20%…in fact, the only thing that I found 40% off was large print books…and every Joel Osteen title (kidding). This is slightly false advertising in my mind and leaves a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Oh sure, they’ll try and get every penny they can, but I think this tactic further shows the loss of dignity suffered by the store. (in fairness, they’ve since sent out another email clarifying which genres are a certain percentage off…they regained some dignity)

I believe my first Borders book was Uncle Tom’s Cabin and my last two may be Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis and St. Francis of Assisi by Chesterton (both 20% off), which i mentioned in my last post. So like i said, the loss of Borders is sad for me not necessarily for loss of a favorite store, but moreso loss of principle..what it represents as a physical bookstore selling physical books. Alas, dear Borders, how the mighty have fallen! I would sing you one last ode, but I need to go snap up a book on Amazon before it sells…

…Kidding.